7 Mages

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2016 3:59 pm 
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[color=#FF0000]Language[/color] ...
[color=#FF0000]Where:[/color] ...
[color=#FF0000]Wrong translation:[/color] ...
[color=#FF0000]How it should be:[/color] ...


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I'm no expert, so feel free to dismiss any of these points ;)

1)

Language: English
Where: Fight Master, when learning a new maneuver, one of your options is..
Wrong translation: Polearms (Extended stub)
How it should be: Polearms (Extended stab)

2)

Language English
Where: Spellbook, Polearm Maneuver no.5 "Pull from all directions", the multipliers..
Wrong translation: 1x, 1.8x, 2nd 6x.
How it should be: 1x, 1.8x, 2.6x.

3)

Language English
Where: Spellbook, Ranged Maneuver no.2 "Multiple shots", the description..
Wrong translation: "The degree of maneuver determines how many tomes:"
How it should be: "The degree of maneuver determines how many times:"

4)

Language English
Where: Spellbook, Elemental Spells, Air, Enemy Status description..
Wrong translation: "After 100 moves the enemies' stats are displayed above them." - it suggests that 100 moves have to pass first, then you get the effect.
How it should be: "For 100 moves..."

5)

Language English
Where: Spellbook, Elemental Spells, the description..
Wrong translation: some of the spells use "wounds" (noun) while other spells use "wounding" (verb) for what was most likely meant to be a noun. Ex.
Fireball: ", which causes wounds in the element of fire"
Fireworm: "The explosion causes wounding in the element of fire"
Two more spells that use "wounding" are: Freezing attack, Frozen blood. The rest of damaging spells use "wound" or "wounds".
How it should be: I would certainly change the "wounding" to "wounds".

6)

Language Czech, English (probably every language)
Where: Spellbook, Elemental Spells, Earth, "Wall" description..
Wrong translation: "The degree of magic determines how many strikes the wall has to receive to be destroyed: 25, 100, 400." - this suggests you have to hit the wall X times with any attack for it to go down, but that is not true, since it can fall in a single attack if something deals more than 25 damage (to Wall at Degree 1).
In czech, it says "zásahů" while other spells use "zranění", which gives the same wrong suggestion.
How it should be: I would clarify the description.
"The degree of magic determines how many wounds the wall has to receive to be destroyed: 25, 100, 400." - since you use "wounds" in other spells.
Alt.: "The degree of magic determines how much damage the wall has to receive to be destroyed: 25, 100, 400."

7)

Language English
Where: Spellbook, Songs, "Ressurection" description..
Wrong translation: "1st degree: loses experience down to the last degree achieved.."
How it should be: "1st degree: loses experience down to the last level achieved.." - since character sheet says "Level: X", not "Degree: X".

8)

Language English
Where: Spellbook, Songs, "Ressurection" description..
Wrong translation: whole page is written in a smaller text font than all the other pages.
How it should be: Fix the text size.

9)

Language Czech
Where: Spellbook, Songs, "Ressurection" description..
Wrong translation: "1. stupeň: ztrácí zkušenosti na poslední dosaženou úrovň, ..."
How it should be: "1. stupeň: ztrácí zkušenosti na poslední dosaženou úroveň, ..."


Last edited by Psojed on Sat Mar 26, 2016 11:51 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2016 8:22 pm 
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As I've posted on RPGCodex already, "wound in the element of X" is a clunky and unnatural construction. It should be just "fire (water, etc.) damage". And "size of the wound" should be "amount of damage".


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, 2016 8:47 am 
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I don't have any particular issues with "wounds in the element of X". While it might be an uncommon construction, it isn't wrong. I see no reason why every game should deal "amount of damage".

On a side note, you can tell that "Reaper" guy on RPGCodex that he's a moron and should stop using my labyrinth map 8-)


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, 2016 10:51 am 
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The word usage is wrong. A wound is basically a cut, as Merriam-Webster dictionary puts it "an injury to the body (as from violence, accident, or surgery) that typically involves laceration or breaking of a membrane (as the skin) and usually damage to underlying tissues". So how exactly are you going to cut someone with air? :D At the very least it should be changed to "injury", if you're hellbent on avoiding "damage".
"In the element of X" might not be grammatically wrong (although to me it reads more like it's the element of X that receives the wound/injury :? ), but it's rather awkward stylistically. There's a ton of better ways to phrase it: "X-based injury", "burn/freeze burn/shock" etc.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, 2016 1:39 pm 
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Quote:
So how exactly are you going to cut someone with air?

Image

Just because "wound" is (according to the dictionary) used to describe an injury caused by a physical something, does not mean that spells cannot cause physical wounds. Spells also have their physical effects. For example, image the fireball spell as if someone throws a molten rock in your face. You will surely feel the impact of force, causing blunt trauma and burns.

If you want to solve this using dictionaries, damage has a similar description, except that damage is also used for non-living things like someone's reputation or property damage. Since there is no way of damaging environment in the game (with the exception of the Wall spell), all spells causing damage will always cause damage only to monsters, which have skin that the "wounds" can be applied to.

PS: And for the record, there are no wind spells in the game, there's only the Storm and you can google some images of what lightning does to your skin ;)


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, 2016 2:25 pm 
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Psojed wrote:
Just because "wound" is (according to the dictionary) used to describe an injury caused by a physical something, does not mean that spells cannot cause physical wounds.

That's not my point, my point is that a wound is a specific type of injury - the one where soft tissue is torn (and in most cases skin is penetrated). Burns or blunt force traumas by themselves technically aren't wounds (they may lead to wounds, but they may have other effects too).
I would write it off as the translator's quirck if the translation was stellar in other regards. But it's not, there is a TON of lousy syntax in the spell descriptions. E.g. the Ignition spell: "The ground around the mage catches fire and burns until the end of the round. The degree of magic determines the size of the wound..." - who or what exactly is wounded here? The ground? Moreover, "the wound", with definitive article, can only mean that one, and only one, wound is being dealt. Or the Flaming Weapon: "The degree of magic determines the size of the wound (and how long in lasts in rounds)" - what is supposed to last here? The way the description is worded, it's the wound, although logically it should be the spell effect. Energy Drain: "Wounds the enemy in the element of water and converts it..." - what is converted here? Element, water or enemy? Frozen Blood: "The degree of magic determines the multiple of the wound (and its duration): 1.5..." - so how exactly do you deal one and a half wound to someone? Not to mention that once again "it" is used in a way that refers to the wound, not the effect. Et cetera, et cetera. The English translation is extremely sloppy, the guy probably just put it trough google translate and slightly edited the result.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, 2016 8:40 pm 
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zverlibre wrote:
That's not my point, my point is that a wound is a specific type of injury - the one where soft tissue is torn (and in most cases skin is penetrated). Burns or blunt force traumas by themselves technically aren't wounds (they may lead to wounds, but they may have other effects too).

I see, you're right then.

I checked it out and I think the translator made a mistake. The authors' language (Czech) has two different words that both translate as "wound".
"rána" - which is the specific type of injury you were talking about. I would translate this as "wound".
"zranění" - which uses the same word root, but is not used to describe a specific type of injury, instead it is used to describe an injury in general. I would translate this as "injury".
The latter is used in the Czech version, so "injury" might have been the proper translation (and google translator offers it as a secondary option - hah).
"Damage" translates as "poškození" and the game never actually uses that word.

On the topic of skin penetration..
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wound
A wound is a type of injury which happens relatively quickly in which skin is torn, cut, or punctured (an open wound), or where blunt force trauma causes a contusion (a closed wound). In pathology, it specifically refers to a sharp injury which damages the dermis of the skin.
Well, wiki says it doesn't have to be a torn tissue or penetrated skin if we are not talking pathology :mrgreen:

I'll comment on the individual spells too.
zverlibre wrote:
E.g. the Ignition spell: "The ground around the mage catches fire and burns until the end of the round. The degree of magic determines the size of the wound..." - who or what exactly is wounded here? The ground? Moreover, "the wound", with definitive article, can only mean that one, and only one, wound is being dealt.

The spell states that it sets the ground around you aflame. The game doesn't tell the player that "fire will damage/burn whatever is standing around you" in any language, it only says that the ground catches on fire, the Czech is exactly the same, so it would be an incomplete spell description, not a translation error. But I feel like this one is pretty damn clear, or do you think someone will be unable to figure out that the fire will damage stuff standing on those tiles around?

"The wound" should be fine, since Ignition "burns until the end of the round" which actually means that it really does damage only once :)

zverlibre wrote:
Or the Flaming Weapon: "The degree of magic determines the size of the wound (and how long in lasts in rounds)" - what is supposed to last here? The way the description is worded, it's the wound, although logically it should be the spell effect.

The full description is:
Enchants an ordinary weapon in any character's hand so it inflicts magic wounds in the element of fire. The degree of magic determines the size of the wound (and how long it lasts in rounds).
Do you really need the game tell you "and how long the enchantment lasts" if you were told that it's an enchantment in the previous sentence?

zverlibre wrote:
Energy Drain:

Agreed, this one is wrong.

zverlibre wrote:
Frozen Blood:

Yes, this one also sounds pretty weird.

Please post more descriptions that sound weird to you, that's exactly why I made this topic. The devs are checking the forums so hopefully it will get fixed.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, 2016 9:15 pm 
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Quote:
Do you really need the game tell you "and how long the enchantment lasts" if you were told that it's an enchantment in the previous sentence?

Actually, yes, until I took a closer look I read it as though it was a lasting wound. But even if meaning is discernible, it's still a syntax error.

Quote:
"The wound" should be fine, since Ignition "burns until the end of the round" which actually means that it really does damage only once

It is not, because "the" implies that there's only one wound - no matter how many creatures are caught in the fire.

Quote:
The game doesn't tell the player that "fire will damage/burn whatever is standing around you" in any language, it only says that the ground catches on fire, the Czech is exactly the same, so it would be an incomplete spell description, not a translation error.

I can't comment on the Czech version, but it's pretty easy to fix the ambiguity in English without introducing another sentence. For example: "The ground around the mage catches fire and burns until the end of the round. The degree of magic determines the severity of injuries dealt by the fire..." (or just the good old "amount of damage" ;) )

By the way, on the subject of this:
Quote:
Language Czech, English (probably all)
Where: Spellbook, Songs, "Rush" description..
Wrong translation: "Increases the magic of the player's characters ... by 10, 15, 20."
How it should be: The numbers in-game are different. When you play any flute, you gain +11/+16/+21, and all other instruments give +15/+20/+25. I crunched some numbers for that in here.

I answered on Steam, but in case you didn't see it: the difference in numbers can be the result of instrument skills. The skill rating is just added on top of the effect, so if the spell effect is 10/15/20, and your brass skill is 5, the resulting increase would be exactly 15/20/25.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2016 11:50 am 
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Yes I saw it yesterday, but I'm not at home and I can't log into Steam for the weekend (bcs authenticator) to reply. And you were right, I didn't account for my instrument skills.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 31, 2016 2:02 pm 
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Preparing for releasing game texts to the community translations I have just fixed everything from your list what looks like clear bug to me (typo, wrong numbers etc.).

However, I left everything else on place. Why?
1) We are hiring another professional translator to double check an english in the game. We need one for creative translation a one for RPG specific translations.
2) When we open texts to public (with some limitation) you will have a chance to make also English alternative (we will see what happen)
3) RPGCodex is only site where people complain about translation. We have two great reviews (TouchArcade, PocketTactics) plus user reviews and none of them mention. On the other hand I can't say the translation is without faults. I am simply unable to arbitrate :-)

Last note: We have really hired professional creative translator with experiences in movies as well as games translation (he is working for another Prague's studio that is developing PRG game; I will not mention them as don't want to harm their reputation). I believe it is proper english, however, he didn't saw all game texts inside the game so there can be some faults.

Other thing is that we was experimenting with language even in Czech (what was original language). Dialog should be very short and they should remind chat - this is why you can see even emoticons. Originally it was developed for devices you hold in you hand so it does make sense (it wasn't accepted well on PC).

We saw discussion on RPG Codex and despite of this is only place complaining about language so much (Steam forums are just references to RPGCodex) we perceive it as problem. We want to do another proof reading(s) with native speakers. We wan to do it on PC as well as we want to open texts to community.


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